Why You Might NOT ‘Find Yourself’ Whilst Travelling
Some links in this post contain affiliate links. I receive a small commission if you use the links at no extra cost to you! Happy reading 😀
“I’m really going to find myself when I go travelling. I’ll become such a better person.”
This post is going to delve into the parts about why you might not ‘find yourself’ whilst travelling that we don’t really hear that often. The parts that we aren’t singing from the rooftops and saying we’re proud of.
But, it is so important that you know travelling does not solve all of your problems.
Things go wrong. You might not ‘find yourself’.
People might be mean and unkind. You may feel lonely and homesick.
And, the big one – travelling doesn’t actually look like your favourite couple you’ve followed on Instagram for the last 2 years.
In this blog post, I’m going to be delving into 8 hard truths about backpacking for beginners, and why you might NOT ‘find yourself’ whilst travelling.
Because it’s better to know before you go, right?
Travelling the UK? Check out these posts!
- 7 Day Scotland Road Trip Route & Itinerary (2022)
- The Ultimate Wales Road Trip for Beginners
- Is Putney a Good Place to Live? A Local’s Advice
Travelling will solve all of my problems. Won’t it?
When you take off and leave everything you know behind, you pretty much hope everything is going to be great.
You’re going on an adventure of a lifetime.
Everything is going to be amazing, your life is going to change for the better, every day will be perfect, bla bla bla….
98.5% of your trip will be incredible.
You will meet the best people, experience things you didn’t even know existed, go through emotions you didn’t even know you had, and recognise what appreciation is every single day.
However, that other 1.5% can be crappy. There are some unrealistic expectations of what happens when you go travelling. Things can become underwhelming, things will go wrong and sometimes you just want to pack it all in and go home.
This is ok! The purpose of this post is to make you realise whatever you are going through whilst travelling, is ok.
Ups, downs, even sideways – we’ve all experienced the points below in some way.
It’s just useful to know them before you go (and it saves a lot of disappointment and anxiety!).
Unrealistic Travel Expectations
1)Thinking every day is going to be perfect
This part may come as a shock to you. It’s definitely up there with why you might NOT ‘find yourself’ whilst travelling.
Travelling isn’t always amazing.
And sometimes, I actually strongly dislike it.
Some days you will want to go home.
Some days you’ll miss your family, friends, dog or parrot and feel like giving it all up.
Others, everything under the sun will go wrong (a puncture on the Great Ocean Road caused by a roadside shark tooth, a hole in your tent in a thunderstorm in the middle of the Lake District) and you’ll be thinking “maybe I’m just not cut out for this?!”
You are.
You are cut out for it, but we all – and I do mean every single person who goes on a big travelling trip – will have rough days.
I’ve had plenty!
It doesn’t mean you’re not meant to travel. It doesn’t mean you’re not ‘made’ for it. It just means you’re having a bad day.
You might wake up and think “what on Earth am I doing in the middle of a Malaysian jungle, with a high risk of death-defying diseases from miniature bugs, and quite literally an excitable monkey doing a jig on my roof?”
Travel can be strange. It will throw you weird moments where you’ll think, God, what am I doing?
Push through those days – they will pass, I promise.
Moments of loneliness, sadness, fears of missing out back home – you will experience all of it.
The sad thing is, you will miss out on important life events back home and this can get pretty hard.
Babies, weddings, engagements will all slip by. But remember, you’re on your own, amazing journey.
Whatever you’re doing, if your gut is telling you it’s the right thing, keep going.
2) You’re going to ‘find yourself’
This is probably the biggest mistake I come across with backpackers and young travellers. Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard someone say “I found myself whilst travelling”.
I’m going to assume your hand is raised. Yep, it’s that classic line. Found myself?
I’m not sure about that one!
Learned more about my true self? There we go.
You’re not going to become a completely different person after you’ve been travelling. You are already you.
Travelling will categorically put you in a position to face every fear and every emotion. I can only describe it with the classic ‘emotional rollercoaster’ phrase because it really is the case. Every emotion and every fear will be pushed to its limit, and you’ll surprise yourself with how amazing you’ll cope with it.
Leaving your home and friends and family to set off on new adventures is brave.
You’ll discover so much about your likes, wants and needs in life. That’s way better than ‘finding’ yourself.
3)Travelling solves all of your problems
A huge mistake I have made in the past, is that by going travelling, all of my problems will disappear.
“I won’t feel unhappy anymore, everything will be solved.”
“It won’t matter that I’m rowing with a friend, uncomfortable with my body or haven’t seen a family member for the last 5 years.”
Wrong. Travelling does not solve any problems. Ever. It just delays them.
When I finally realised this and worked through my issues, it was like a light switch turned on in my brain.
I had to learn to deal with my problems, rather than covering up with those golden sparkles.
Don’t try and escape your own head.
Whether you’re in England, Australia or the deserted parts of the Sahara Desert, your head, brain and thoughts are still your own.
They won’t change. No ray of sunshine or quad bike trip is solving that.
I’m not saying travel won’t help, as it will. It’s amazing when you’re in a dark place to have something to take your mind off it all, but it doesn’t last.
Those bleaker days, when it’s pouring with rain and you’re stuck in your hostel, will really bring those darker thoughts to light.
Don’t expect travel to be your therapist.
4) Some places will not look as good as on Instagram
How many times have you seen those features on Instagram that are ‘expectation vs reality’?
Well, that works well with travel photos too.
If you’re like me and follow heaps of travel bloggers on Instagram, unfortunately, your brain will be full of wonderful, edited expectations.
Photos on Instagram are beautiful to look at.
The whole point of the app is to be aesthetically pleasing and grab the attention of the audience. Nobody wants to look at dull, wonky, colourless photos of a beach, do they?
It is an amazing way to get inspiration, but we just have to be careful to remember that they really are filtered, edited and then filtered again.
There are so many powerful and accessible editing tools now which are available to everyone and anyone.
Colour and light can be completely revamped, rejuvenated, contrasted – even changed – to make a subject truly ‘pop’.
This may be a problem when you turn up expecting to see bright pink blossom trees, when really it’s just a tree with 3 twigs hanging off of it.
5) All the locals you meet will be friendly
Unfortunately, not everyone you will meet will be friendly.
Travelling to multiple countries and meeting tons of people is eventually going to lead to some unpleasantness.
Through my own travels, I have found people around the world to be kind. People are generally good. People want to do well by you, help you, assist you and talk to you.
They want to find out more about your life and culture, just as much as you want to know about theirs.
But as we know, not all people are this way.
You may come across locals who are protective of their country or land, defensive or just quite grumpy. We have even been exposed to racial abuse in some more remote areas, which we sadly learned to take on the chin.
It’s important to remember to always be respectful and remember you are on someone else’s turf (well, obviously not the racism part – that’s never acceptable!).
But with everything else, try not to take it personally and if you are experiencing problems, move on.
Find the good people again.
6) Every day spent travelling will be full of adventure
Planning heaps of activities and excursions is great, but you will have a lot of downtimes whilst travelling too. Especially if you are on a long-term trip.
For some, this is amazing. The detox and the downtime is a well-needed break but for others, this can be the time that you feel is ‘wasted’ and you become restless, wanting to move on to the next adventure.
Try not to beat yourself up about having ‘non-adventure’ days.
These are important too! They’ll save you money, allow you to catch up on sleep, and give you time to contact family and friends back home.
You will have days when you’re bored.
You’ll spend a few hours scrolling on your phone and looking at Instagram photos from people back home. You’ll be sitting watching Netflix in your room (I always need a few of these when I’m away).
But try and enjoy it – you’ll have time to read, relax and just switch off.
It’s hard to come to terms with when you’re someone like me, who wants to do and see everything instantly. But not every day will be filled with adventure.
Some days you’ll find yourself chilling in a hostel, cooking an average meal, and curling up with your Kindle and a cup of tea. And hopefully, you’ll appreciate the slower pace!
7) You’ll have to eat pretty average food most of the time
Unless you have a few million in the bank, you probably won’t be able to afford to eat out every day.
In a dream world, we’d all be off trying every cuisine under the sun in your location and fully immerse ourselves in their culinary world.
Sadly, eating out is expensive. In places like SE Asia, there are options such as street food which can be cheap, but sometimes, you just won’t fancy it.
Sometimes you will crave home comforts (nan’s roast dinner or your fave milkshake from Deliveroo) and that’s ok!
Don’t feel pressure to be immersed in the unknown food world 24/7. It’s ok to crave fast food (or if you’re me, a jacket potato in the middle of Chiang Mai).
At the end of the day, you’re still you. You still have your favourite foods and know what you like. This isn’t going to change when you get on that plane and land in Asia, or Canada or Costa Rica.
If you love chocolate digestives at home, you’re still going to love them when you’re away, and chances are, you’ll miss them.
You’re going to have meals that are boring (pasta and cheese in the hostel kitchen), you’re going to have meals that you’d possibly cook at home because you know how to cook them, and not every mealtime will be an exciting opportunity to try some kind of fish you’ve never heard of.
8) Some views won’t impress you anymore
Mountains, fields, beaches, deserts… there will be a point where the views you’ve so desperately searched for your whole life, become normal.
I’ve had this conversation with so many fellow travellers. It’s so sad, but it’s true. It might even sound a bit spoilt. But it’s honest!
When you have been travelling for a long time, certain views (such as waterfalls, mountain ranges…) will become second nature. You see them all the time. What’s special about the next mountain when you’ve already seen 300?
I get it, I really do.
It’s really sad but it does become a reality when you’re on the road for a long time. You stop being so amazed by everything you see and seeing a 50ft waterfall or a white sand beach becomes more of an everyday thing.
This doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate what you see.
Even when it becomes more normal to be surrounded by mountains or beaches, you can still appreciate them and be grateful for where you are.
Having the opportunity to see these landscapes with your own eyes is amazing, but it might just not be something you shout from the rooftops every time you see them.
That’s ok, too!
How do I overcome these expectations?
Have ‘low-expectation’ days. Give yourself ‘time-outs’ and hours (or longer) with zero expectations (just do nothing, no pressure to be exploring or venturing).
Block off some time to just wander and think.
This allows you to have time to reset, and work out where your thoughts are for the rest of your trip. And it gives you some extra time if your plans change along the way.
When you’re travelling, you’ll probably feel a lot of pressure to see and do everything.
You’ll want to keep up a fast pace to ‘do it all’. You’ll create and build up a lot of expectations and goals in your head, that sometimes, might not be reasonable.
It’s important to let these go from time to time, and just embrace what is happening in the present.
Most importantly; embrace failure.
Failure is part of the travel process. Even the most detailed of plans often fall apart when they face reality.
If you embrace it, expect the failure, and figure out ways to deal with it, you may even see the fun side of something going wrong!
Remember, it’s ok if you don’t meet your high standards and fulfil every goal.
Even if you put 100% into your goals and travel expectations, inevitably parts won’t go to plan. You are only human!
Happy travelling!
Jennie 🙂 x
