Making Friends in Hostels: A Complete Guide
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Making friends in hostels may seem easy, but the truth is, you may feel a little out of your depth when you arrive (and that’s ok!) I’ve rounded up some of my best advice for first time backpackers trying to make friends in hostels below!
Looking to make friends in your hostel?
This can be one of the best (and scariest) ways to make some travel buddies.
But, how do you actually make friends in hostels? How do you approach strangers in unknown territory? How do you speak to someone you’ve never met before and not make a complete idiot out of yourself?
Yep, I can just feeeel that social anxiety kicking in 😬.
If you’re travelling solo, you will have days when you want to be alone.
But for the other parts of your trip, you might find you’d rather be seeing the sights with a new travel friend.
So, if you’re about to experience your first hostel stay, I’ve rounded up the best things to do (and not do) to make friends in hostels.
(And how to not make an idiot out of yourself.)
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1. Be approachable
Number one rule for making friends in hostels: be approachable.
This means being open to new ideas. Open to people who may be different to you, with different beliefs and backgrounds.
Don’t sit on your phone all of the time.
Smile at your roomies.
Say hello!
Be approachable. Have open body language. Make people want to talk to you!
Want to hear about the UGLY side of hostels too? Check out my juicy hostel post 😏
2. Make an effort
And I’m not talking about taking your guitar to the common room and trying to start a singalong.
(If anything, I’d discourage that if you want to make friends).
Just the simple things.
Make an effort to get to know someone. Ask questions. Talk about where they’ve already travelled to, and where they’re going next.
Be interested! (And don’t just pretend to be interested).
If your social anxiety is bubbling, start small. Start with a hello, then a simple question of what their plans are that day (or have been if you’ve arrived in the evening).
If they’re not too friendly (and this is quite rare), don’t take it personally.
Not everyone you’ll meet on the road will be your bestie, and that’s ok!
You’ll meet so many backpackers in hostels that if someone isn’t on your wavelength, you can move on to the next!
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3. Book onto hostel day trips
Most backpacker hostels will host day trips for solo travellers on a regular basis. This means it’s quite literally set up for you to make new friends.
Organised fun is a great way of making new friends in hostels. And not only do you get to meet some new people, but you get the experience of a fun day out!
So if that social anxiety we mentioned is bubbling, organised fun is a great way to just be thrown in the deep end with other backpackers.
They’re also great for travellers who find it hard to ‘make the first move’ when it comes to talking to new people.
4. Work for the hostel
If you’re staying in the hostel for a long period of time, you can also ask to trade your work for your bed.
Not only is this a great way to save money for your travels, but it’s an amazing way to make friends in hostels.
You’ll gain a unique kind of confidence being behind the reception desk rather than in front of it, and you’ll be speaking to countless new people on a daily basis.
If you’re given the opportunity to run events for the hostels, you’ll be communicating with new backpackers in a fun and engaging way.
It’s pretty guaranteed that you’ll make a few new friends along the way.
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5. Don’t be reliant on anyone
At the end of the day, everyone you meet in a hostel has their own priorities.
You cannot become reliant on anyone you meet in a hostel.
Remember, you chose your own destination, with your own ideas. So did they!
Just because Fred from France says he might go to the local street food market this evening, don’t pin all your hopes on him.
Give yourself options.
And just because Sally from Spain doesn’t want to visit the city library, doesn’t mean you can’t.
Don’t let the friends you make in hostels deter you from why you visited that location in the first place.
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6. Join online travel groups
This may sound like an odd one, but it’s actually a really great one for making friends in hostels.
If you meet a few other girls or guys OUTSIDE of the hostel and bring them to the hostel bar or common room (hostel rule dependent), chances are, someone staying in the hostel will want to join your mini gang.
I know when I’m with someone else, I always have a bit more confidence to approach a bigger group.
Then when your new online friends go home for the evening, you’ve still got a few hostel friends to hang with.
Turning up with someone can give you a bit of an ego boost, and that extra chance of making more friends in hostels.
7. Allow for spontenaity
As an avid planner myself, this one can be a bit hard to get used to.
If you’re planning on making friends in hostels, you’re going to need to be spontaneous.
Freinds plans may differ from yours, and you might need to change your schedule.
Allow for spontenaity.
Be open to new ideas.
Join in with your new travel buddies (as long as you’re not ALWAYS doing everything everyone else wants to do.)
Staying in a hostel for the first time? Check out my other guides here:
8. Keep to hostel etiquette
Possibly the most important rule.
If you don’t follow hostel etiquette, the chances of you making any friends are going to be close to zero.
Hostel etiquette doesn’t include HUGE things, just a few minor points you may want to remember when you’re staying in a shared dorm.
Be sure to pack your neck pillow and eye mask!
My top tips for hostel etiquette:
(Aka, not being an arsehole roomie)
- Keep your belongings in one area (no one likes a messy roomy…which is usually me. Sorry!)
- Do NOT hang your wet towel up on someone else’s bed
- Don’t sit on someone else’s bunk without permission (things can get awkkkkkward)
- Avoid turning the light on in the middle of the night, or early in the morning (you have a phone torch for a reason. use it!)
- Don’t steal other people’s food (you’ll be surprised at how common this is?!)
- If your alarm rings loudly, turn it off as soon as you’ve woken up (and don’t leave it ringing whilst you’re in the shower)
- Avoid eating smelly food in your dorm room (gross!)
- If you need to make a deep and meaningful phone call, do it out of your shared dorm room
- Try not to scream and shout whilst other people are in the room. Even for pre-drinks.
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9. Remember you were a newbie once
You may get to a point where you’ve made some friends in your hostel. You’re feeling pretty great, and don’t think you need to add anyone else to your ‘travel gang’.
Hmmmm. Think about that one.
Remember YOU were a newbie once.
That first time backpacker who’s just checked in could feel really rubbish about being in a dorm room where everybody has already made friends.
Invite the newbie to dinner with you.
Ask them to come on your day trip.
Who knows, they could end up being your favourite hostel friend.
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10. Hang out in the common room
You might get to a stage where your hostel roomies just aren’t cutting it.
It’s normal to find people during your travels you don’t click with. It’s just a bit annoying if it’s your roommates, and you’re looking to make some friends.
If this happens, start hanging out in the common room.
Try not to let your social anxiety go overboard and stop you from talking to people who may already have friends. If they’re decent human beings, they’ll be happy to involve you in their chat.
If you need a bit of an icebreaker, bring sharable food.
Food = friends 🤝
Bring a bag of sweets or crisps or even better, a pizza… offer to share your food and you’ve got a brand new conversation starter.
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11. Be accepting. Even more accepting than when you are at home.
When you travel, you’re introduced to hundreds of people you wouldn’t normally meet back home.
This means you’re going to meet all different kinds of people, from all walks of life.
Whether it’s personality traits, background, cultures, languages, appearances, you name it, you’ll meet someone the total opposite to you in your hostel room at some point.
If you spend your time being judgemental and thinking ‘I don’t normally click with people who do so and so‘, you’re going to have a pretty lonely trip.
I’ve become friends in hostels with the most unlikely of people.
In hostels, there are no rules to who you can and can’t be friends with.
Be accepting, kind, and open.
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12. But accept that you WON’T connect with everyone
Whilst you’re going to meet people from all over the world, the honest truth is you’re not going to love everyone.
Accept this, and you’ll immediately take some of that pressure off to make friends with everyone you meet in your hostel.
Meaning you’ll have more energy to socialise with the people that you DO connect with!
More energy = more new friends in hostels! 🙂
13. Don’t be too opinionated on your experiences
If you overhear someone in your dorm room planning to take a trip to a waterfall you didn’t like, don’t put a downer on their experience.
Just because you didn’t like the waterfall, doesn’t mean you have to crush their idea of visiting with your negative energy.
Be positive, encouraging and let people enjoy things on their own terms.
(Unless it’s REALLY bad, then they might appreciate the heads up!)
14. Be YOURSELF! 👏
To put it simply, the best way to make friends in hostels is to BE YOURSELF.
You are YOU, a first time (or second) backpacker, with new perspectives, insights, experiences and uniqueness.
Let that shine through.
Be your amazing self and let those hostel friends roll through.
Staying in hostels? Don’t forget to pack:
- A padlock: to keep your valuables secure when you leave your hostel room.
- A hanging wash bag: to make sure all your toiletries are kept in one place, and won’t get confused with anyone elses
- Speakers: because, well, who doesn’t love music? Just make sure everyone in your room gets a chance to pick a song! (And no one minds you playing the music)
- A microfibre towel: Not all hostels will provide you with towels for free. Bring your own to save extra ££.
- Earphones: for loud nights and disruptions to your sleep.
- Flip flops: if you’re using shared showers.
- Eyemask: for uninterrupted sleep.
- World travel adapter or an extension lead: so you’re not using more than one plug!
- Your laptop or tablet: for movie nights, of course! 🍿
Making Friends in Hostels: In a Nutshell
So, there we have it.
A definitive guide to making friends in hostels and making your shared dorm experience just that little bit better.
At the end of the day, as long as you’re friendly, confident and YOURSELF, you’re pretty likely to make friends in hostels. On the road, most people are solo or in couples (and we still want to make friends, I promise!) and WANT to meet new people.
That’s what travel is all about!
So next time you’re in your hostel, or your first shared dorm room, go for it.
Make those fabulous hostel friends.
You got this!
Happy travelling!
Jennie 🙂 x
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